I Love You Granny

Happy Holiday’s to everyone. There is a week left in 2009. Crazy how fast this year has flown by. I’ve had quite a few changes this year and I will continue to make more. I need change in order to improve myself and my life. Anyway, today is Christmas and this year I seem to be thinking about my Granny a lot. I guess the tattoo is doing its job, LOL. I really do miss her. I miss talking to her and just being in her presence. She was a very important person to me and will never forget what she has done for me and my family. Love you always Granny!!!

On another note, the tattoo is healing and peeling all over. But this is part of the process, so we’ll see how long this last. But it’s all worth and I know its going to look sick once its done and all healed up.

You helped me be who I am...

I had my first sitting of my first tattoo today. Took about 4 hours, didn't hurt too bad. I was mostly smiling the whole time because this is something that I have wanted going on three years now. These three people mean the world to me and they all played a role in molding me into the man that I am today. Without them, I'm not sure where I would be in my life. This is a small gesture to remind myself of these two amazing woman and a great man. I love you all with all my heart and I hope that I inspire someone else the way that you all have inspired me.

The second sitting is in two weeks and it will look even better once the color is in.

It is called...Crying Rose

Fred

Living life baby....

I barely made it out of that snow storm yesterday in Virginia. It took me about 45 minutes to drive 15 miles from my friends house in Springfield, VA to the airport and the whole time I was there I was expecting to see that I my 8:40 am flight was canceled and I was going to have to figure out how to make it back to their house. To my surprise we actually took off in the storm, a very fast climb by the pilots I would like to add, and we made it to Tampa safely. Seeing that snow had me wondering if I would choose to move from Tampa back somewhere where it snows…..not sure about that.

Anyway, I probably will be seeing snow when I visit the family in Michigan in a few weeks. Not looking forward to the snow, but looking forward to seeing them and a other people ;-)

Besides that…its life. The good, the bad, the sad, the happy. Life is what we make it. Be happy in the moment and enjoy the time we are giving.

I’m living therefore I am happy,

Fred

2009 coming to an end....

Well well well. Taking care of business at work. Passed my review. That was a relief. Now once I pass the next one, I get my next promotion. Moving on up as some people would say. Now that is my job. What about my life. Many things good, many things ok, and some things that need work/change. I posted a status a while ago which ask the question:

Why do we work hard at our jobs but not in our lives….

This caused me to think about myself a lot. What am I doing in my personal life that I value. What am I doing that I feel is improving myself or others around me. I feel fortunate to have experienced many of the things I have and to be in the position that I am. But there is still a sense of improvement that I have.

There are still questions that I feel like I have yet to answer for myself. There is still a level that I am wanting to reach for relationships. There are still goals that I am striving for and there are things that I feel I need to devote more time too as far as improving Freddie.

So I need to refocus my attention on these things that will improve me and the things and/or people that I value. This is what I will do and will implement from now on.

On another note….getting Inked starting Monday. First sitting of two. Can’t wait.

Freddie

Adversity

I have many relationships with many different people. All of these relationships are different. Some people are acquaintances, some are co-workers, some are family, some are friends, etc… Over time I have realized that I value these relationships differently. I have also learned that it may not be productive to have expectations for these relationships. Let me explain….
The value that I (and the other person) establish happens in many ways. The ease of interaction or how much that person and I “click”, the sacrifice that I and the other person provide to help one another out, and many other things. Some relationships take many years to show whether or not that relationship will stand the test of time and adversity. The one aspect that I will focus on is just that, adversity. What happens or how does that person react or act in an adverse situation whether it is with you or just with them. To me this is extremely critical in deciding if this person is someone that I can trust to maintain their “cool” and presence in a tough situation. They show me during this time if I can depend on them to be there for me when I lose my cool and I need that other perspective to look at things from another perspective. Many people lack this from my experience. The people whom I consider to know me the best, or my best friends, are people who provide this for our relationship, as I do for them. It becomes difficult for me to put my trust in someone who tends to lose their cool when times get rough, because everyone experiences rough times. We learn more from failure then from success, so it is extremely important that lessons are learned in a time where you feel like you have no way out or you can’t “see” where to go next.
Life is hard. We are faced with many rough times, many tough situations, and we will have “failure” or adversity in some shape. But where I go from there is what is important to me. I will stay focused on what I want to accomplish no matter how many hurdles are placed in the way. The hurdles are my adversity and me sprinting over them is my life. The people (person) who are in my life will handle their life similarly, if not I wish them well on their journey.

Want to get away.....

I am me, not you. I have so many thoughts and so many feelings. Sometimes wondering whether to go right, left, straight, etc. This life has its way of being a never ending test. Making one decision after another, not knowing what the outcome will be to any. Is this the right thing to do, what are my other options, have I dug myself in too deep????
By no means is my life hard, as compared to people throughout the world who struggle for food, shelter, water, etc. But sometimes it is about perspective. My struggle to find myself and learn from the many situations in life that I have experienced is no different from another 27 year old man in any other area of the world. Life is the same for everyone. It begins and then it ends. You live, you die. You laugh, cry, smile, frown, experience joy and sadness, and maybe learn some things along the way.
I am very grateful to have been able to experience the things that I have in my life, and hopefully I will have an opportunity to experience much more. Many thoughts are racing through my head right now and it is a struggle to focus on one (hence the abstract/random thoughts above).
Just needed to get some thoughts off my “chest”.

Never Know What You'll Find...

Not sure how long ago it was, but one night while conducting my usual random search of interesting things I can find on the internet, I stumbled upon a new blog. What interested me initially was the creator and author of the blog, but I became more interested after I began reading some of his entries. The Mind of Maurice Clarett is the blog. Not sure if many know his story, but he was a star running back for Ohio State and then went to play in the NFL after a short stay at OSU. To make a long story short, he didn’t last in the NFL, got into some legal trouble, and now he is in prison serving a seven year sentence.
In his entries I sense a different man than that was portrayed by the media before his imprisonment. He talks about change within himself, relationships with people, goals, ambitions, etc. I have tremendous respect for this man because he is learning from the mistakes that he has made and it is clear, at least to me, that his outlook on life has changed 180 degrees. It is hard for me to imagine the mindset I would have if I was to be imprisoned behind bars for years. I was for 20 minutes one time and that was plenty for me. I hope that he endures his prison term well and that he comes out a stronger and wiser person than he was before.

Yea, yea, I know it has been a while...

First of all, yes I took this picture. I think it looks pretty good, but I am in no means a photographer. Anyway, just got back from a 7 day cruise and it was definitely nice to get away from my daily grind for a week. It was nice to get a break from the daily news headlines about this and that, and to not have to see the atmosphere and people that I see on a daily basis.

On the islands that I visited there is a sense of simplicity that I admire and I envy that way of life. It is amusing how many Americans, including myself, find ways to complicate their lives and then wonder “how did I get here?” and “how do I get myself out of this situation?”. When did life become less about eating, having a shelter, loving your friends and family, and just being happy and more about capitalism and “cut throat” ideas. It is actually said to me and I hope that I can continue to simplify my life as I become older and wiser.

We as humans are so small in the grand scheme of things. Look at the picture I took. The ocean covers about two thirds of the world and in my picture it seems as if it is endless. If you were to be floating in the ocean, chances are no one would ever see you again (touching on recent events). We can’t let ourselves think that we our bigger than we really are because in my opinion that is when you can find yourself in sticky situations. In my effort in simplifying my life, I am trying to put the important things first and focusing on understanding that I am Human. Nothing more, nothing less.

The mile high club…

…well at least as far as blogging, HA! As I cruise the friendly sky’s and laugh at this crazy passenger on this flight, I have many thoughts passing through my mind. I have so many ideas of things to do, places to go, goals, ambitions, and yet I find myself not pursing some of them. Am I falling back into a state of contentment? I don’t like this feeling that I have. I have friends and associates that are doing many things that have me saying, why didn’t I think of that? Or why am I not trying that out? I have never wanted nor tried to be an average person or do average things. But is not doing anything the same as doing average things? Well, in some cases yeah. Sometimes I look at not doing anything as being worst, because I am not even trying or even doing anything. I feel like I need a month long get away from my day to day routine, my life, my anything that I see every day or week. Something different. Why not go to another country and just wonder around for a few weeks? I have friends in other counties. But even if I don’t know anybody there, I’m sure I would survive. Even if I didn’t, at least I would be doing something. Which is better then sitting in my apartment working, watching TV, reading books (I do really enjoy that), and being average.

Lets make it happen!!! I’m already traveling a lot for work. So why not travel somewhere different. Even if it is not a different country, another state would suffice. Maybe even a road trip, so that I may see many states. Although, I don’t know how thrilled I would be driving thousands of miles and putting those miles on my car.

I feel as though doing something like this would clear my head and allow me to recharge and refocus on what I want out my life. I do have an idea, but I sense a need for clarity. This sense of contentment that I have right now is clouding my head and making it hard for me to think out of the box and think different than the average person. Now, I’m not knocking being average. It is just not something that I want for myself.

So now I will sit back and look at my schedule, then figure out what move will be next. For my friends that are located abroad, you might be getting a phone call or email. So heads up.

Letter to myself October 8, 2012...

The letter is done!!!
So where will I be October 8, 2012. Hopefully I am alive and healthy at that time. But it will remain to be seen. I will hopefully continue to grow and learn lessons from my life. I WILL continue to travel and experience more things that this world has to offer.
Hopefully I will still have this blog then also so that I will be able to look back and see many of the things that I have experienced from my perspective at that time. I’ve been getting a lot better at writing here also. KEEP IT UP BUDDY 
Peace!!!

Letter to myself...

I sit here trying to stay warm on another cold night in Lansing, MI. There have been many thoughts running through my head, as always, and I have been thinking on what my next blog topic would be about. One idea has stuck out over everything else and this was the idea of writing a letter to myself that I designate to open at some set time in the future. I had never thought of this before until I met a woman who wrote herself a letter that she opened on her 30th birthday. I asked her what she had written to herself and she said that she wrote goals that she wanted to achieve, talked about her current situation (at the time of writing the letter), and a few other topics. This struck me as such a phenomenal idea.
So, over the next couple of days I will be constructing a letter to give to myself. I will open this letter on my 30th birthday (hopefully I make it to see that day). I chose 30 because I didn’t want to set a date out to far and be too impatient to wait, or possibly even forget about the letter.
So now it’s time to think about my goals, my ambitions, and where do I want to be when I am 30. How do I feel about where I am now and how far I have come. All of these topics and more will be in that letter.

Let's look in the mirror

I can’t deny the historicalness of the events that occurred this week, the United States of America’s first non-white President. Now I don’t want to take anything away from this event. But I want to look at it from another perspective. Is this something that we should be surprised about? Was this not bound to happen? Throughout American history there have been many first for non-white Americans. The first slave allowed to be in the masters house, the first slaves allowed to eat at the table with the master, the first slave allowed to “own” land, the first slave/blacks allowed to own a business, the first black mayors, governors, senators, representatives, etc. I hope you see where I am going. Again I don’t want to take anything away from Mr. Obama becoming President. I know many people didn’t think they would live to see that event happen and that it means a lot to them. I’m happy that we were all able to see this happen. But as people, we still have many things to do in order to improve ourselves and the people whom we surround. Regardless of who the mayor, governor, senator, or even the President is. We still have to handle our business (if you want to improve or “make a difference”).

We cannot sit back and wait (nor expect) for Mr. Obama to change things for us. Take the initiative to make things happen for yourself. If you lost your job, explore other possibilities for school or employment. Lost your house. Explore why you lost it in the first place. Were you living above your means? Take responsibility for yourself don’t expect a “black man” being in the Presidential office to all of a sudden make things different for you.

Do I think that we as an economy need help? Yes I do. Do I think that they should have bailed out the creditors and banks? No I don’t. Nor do I think they should have bailed out the “Big Three”. But regardless of that, the American people have many problems that need to be solved. But if WE want to solve these problems we cannot sit back and wait for anyone else, white or black, to solve them. There have been many non-white mayors and governors that didn’t make a difference to “us”. There will be more. The main point that I want to make is just because he is a non-white American doesn’t mean that he is our savior. He is the first but he will not be the last. I don’t know him any better than I know the person living down the street from me. Yes I watched him on TV and I listened to him conduct interviews. But what does that mean. Nothing. I’m just being real. I am not saying that he is a liar or that he is not going to do any good. I’m just saying that I don’t know and it remains to be seen. How many times before has a politician, or a person for that matter, said they were going to do something and it not happen? Many times.

Lets keep it real.