Take a breath Papa

 "I think you should take a breath Papa".

This is what Wren say's to me during an tense moment between us.  Me wanting Wren to listen to my instruction, I believe during dinner time, and her wanting to decide for herself what she wants to do.  

She has been tip toeing this line between what she know's she's supposed to do, but also exploring the boundaries of possibility as well.  This period has been quite the challenge to parent mindfully.

"I think you should take a deep breath", is what I said in return.  It was truly the best I could do at the time, which looking back at it now, was a decent response.  Other than the tone I used in delivering the message.  But, this parenting this is a practice, right?

I believe it is, as with many things.  Practicing a little bit, here and there, slowly taking those steps towards where we'd like to be.  These steps not always necessarily being forward, some are sideways, kiddy corner, backwards, hops, skips, etc.

I think the point is to keep moving. No matter the speed or direction, just keep moving. Towards those self improvements we want to make. Just go.

Stay committed to the practice of self improvement, even in those moments when we feel like we didn't respond the best to a situation, or in hindsight wishing that we'd responded differently, or better.  We have to know that its all apart of the practice and know that the more that we show up willing to do the work to improve, the more we will be moving towards those places where we'd like to be.

Her eyes

I'll never forget the feeling of looking deep into her eyes and sharing smiles together.

I get the deepest sense of connection with Wren each time that her and I share a moment that is punctuated by a deep gaze and smiles.  Having her in my life has been an endless flooding of many things, completely shifting my perspective on so many things from where my life is going, where i've been, and if this vector i'm heading on is wanted. 

That deep connected that I feel when looking into her eyes is almost akin to looking into my younger selfs eyes.  Eyes filled with wonder, curiosity, and joy.  I cannot help but have the the deep urge to help her to maintain all of those things in her view and lead her life with them in clear view.

And each time we share those deep eye gazing moments, me seeing that pure smile of hers, i'm motivated even more to cultivate a life for her where she is able to wonder deeply, be curious of all that things her mind brings, and filled with the never ending joy that this life may bring.

Back at one

 No matter how far in the journey I feel I may come. I find myself feeling back at step one.

I'm learning to understand the cyclical nature of all these things.  And also remembering that in the end I am merely human so I shall always do human things.

The anger, sadness, emptiness, frustration and all the things will always appear.  I'm learning to greet them lightly so that I may learn all that they are willing to share.

The more teachings that I am able to experience in this life. Will allow each time around this cycle to be a little lighter in its flight.