Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Reflections...

As we approach the end of another year, we as people have the habit of reflecting on what happen over the last 365 days. I, myself have experienced so many things, learned many lessons, made some mistakes, and thought about so many things. I am who I am. I am the mistakes that I have made. I am the lessons that I have learned. I am the experiences that I have had. I am so many things. I’m not going to say this year I am going to do this or that, as many people tend to do this time of year. But what I will say is I will continue to strive to learn more about myself and the people around me. I know that life is short and that I have to cherish and enjoy everyday. I will try my hardest to do that.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. Don’t be afraid to SHOW people that you love them.

Freddie

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

SNOW!!!!!!





















I guess I never really realized how much I dislike this thing called snow. My car doesn't like it either because I slip and slide everywhere while I'm driving in it. I knew this winter was going to be difficult for me, but I guess I didn't imagine it like this.

When I leave Michigan I can honestly say that I will not miss these winters.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Don't blink or i'll be gone....

Where is this country going? I seem to ask myself that question every once and a while and lately it seems to happen more frequently. The economy is in the toilet (just like my 401K), we are at multiple wars, people are losing jobs and losing their houses, and so many other things that I’m not going to list.

With all of these things happening I have been toying with the idea of retiring (when I am financially able to do so) to a remote island or small area in a peaceful country. A friend of mine mention this to me a couple of years ago and before then I had never thought of doing this before and I have been giving it more thought lately. I’m a big fan of the simple things in life and I truly believe that our culture has brain washed us into wanting things that we do not need in our lives. I have been brain washed and I know that I have things that I don’t need. I want my life to be simple, especially when I retire.

The thought of waking up with no alarm clock and walking or riding the bike into town to get some breakfast. Saying hello to every one on the way there. Then after breakfast going for a hike or laying by the beach or reading a book on the porch while looking at the scenery. The main thing is just having a more simple life and not having to worry about that place where I’m living being at odds with other countries, having a financial crisis, and wondering how long it is until my next vacation. Why not be on a permanent vacation.

I remember when I went to Dominica on my cruise my driver was telling me that they have no crime there. To me that was unreal. He said the only thing that happens is theft, but even that is rare. Now they do have to worry about something called a hurricane. But there are plenty places like Dominica that don’t have hurricanes and have a similar way of life.

We already make our lives difficult enough. I would like to make mine more simple when I retire.

So don’t be surprised if I just up and leave one day and send you a post card from a remote location…

Friday, November 14, 2008

How you feel and whats real....

I have so many things on my mind as I sit here after a long day of working from home and catching up on being behind on work. So many thoughts, so many ideas. Then while I was watching a movie I heard a quote that really made me think (even more lol). “You need to decide between what you feel and what is real”. I really liked how this was put and it made a lot sense to me. This is not far from my last post where I was talking about syncing my inner self with my outer self. Sometimes (probably a lot of times) our feelings can mislead us. Feelings are such a reactive thing and you need to think things through in order to move forward and understand things that are going on in your life and your surroundings. I have met many people in my life and the most successful people tend to be the ones who think before they act. Now I’m not talking success as in being wealthy or having material things. I’m talking about being happy in your life and being more than just that average person a lot people except being. The reactive people that I have met in my life tend to stay stagnant and sometimes I don’t think they understand why they find themselves in the same situations day in and day out.

I have a hard time keeping my feelings in control when it comes to some situations and I focus on getting better at that everyday. I don’t want to be a person that just reacts but a lot of times it is extremely difficult. I will continue to push myself to stop, think, and understand reality. If I can do that, I know that I will reach a better understanding about my life and the people I choose to have in it.

On another note….I have been living in Lansing almost 6 months and it has been an interesting time. My life is much different here than it was in Virginia. I love being able to go to all my brothers events, help them study for school and do homework, go to the movies with them, see my mom and dad, and be away from the busy city. But I can honestly say that when I was considering the move back, I didn’t think it would be like this. I find many days where I don’t leave the house because I work from home and I work a long day. Other days I may be gone for an hour, maybe two, and then I back to house. The “friends” that I had here aren’t interested in the same things that I am and it has been difficult hanging out with them because I don’t want to fall back into the same habits that I had before I left Lansing. I don’t enjoy going out to the bar 2-3 times a week and hanging around young minded (not all of them are) college students, and I’m not interested in going to other bars in Lansing because it is the same people I have seen my whole life and most of them aren’t doing anything with their lives. In DC it was nice being around young professionals. That doesn’t seam to exist here in Lansing.

I’m not upset that I moved back, because if I didn’t try it, I might have regretted it in the future. But no matter where I live, I will always be there for my brothers and my family. My brothers were the biggest motivation to move back and I love them dearly. But I might have to get more creative and figure out another way to be there for them and not be in Lansing. This will take some thought…

Love life. Live life. Learn and just Be Happy!!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Still Learning...

I guess one of these days I will get on the ball and start posting regularly in my blog. There are a lot of things that I need to make into habits. As I said in my last post, reading is back to a priority, I already have a list of things I want to read about, writing in this blog should be a regular, continuing to produce well with work, and just continuing to learn as a person.

There are many things and people that inspire me in my life. I look at these things and people as motivation to improve myself everyday that I am given on this Earth. I have learned more and more that I need to sync the person who I am on the inside with the person I am on the outside. I found that things are much better in my life when I am inline with myself. I hope that makes sense to you as it does to me.

On a side note…we have just experienced a historical moment recently and I have been toying with the idea of talking about my thoughts on politics on here. But I am still undecided because that can be a touchy subject for some. I don’t take it personally, but many people do. The main thing I hope people understand is that we all have our own opinions about things and there is nothing wrong that. Either way, I hope that things improve in our economy and in this world because things are not looking good right now.

Until the next time…

Friday, September 19, 2008

Stop being lazy Freddie!!!!!

It has been a few months since I have written in my blog. It has been a hectic couple of months and I have had many thoughts that have crossed my mind that I would have liked to blog about. Many of these thoughts are controversial and I have yet to decide whether or not I would like to blog about them. Other thoughts are updates and events of everyday experiences that I have had. I guess that I have really just been lazy and have not taken the time to write these thoughts down. I am going to make more of an effort to blog and share my thoughts with whoever would like to read them. I hope they make as much sense to you as they sometimes do to me.

On another note, I am getting back to reading. I am going to make more of an effort at that also. I feel like I need to take advantage of the information and opinions that I may learn from books and other writings. I have so many interests that I am hungry for information about and I need to feed that hunger. So reading is back to being a PRIORITY.

Last note, I would like to thank someone for making me a stronger person. I wouldn’t be the person today without experiencing the events that happen between us. Learning from our relationship has made me stronger, wiser, and I believe that I have an even greater understanding about what it takes to have GREAT relationships. I hope that one day you will also learn as I have. Thank you again.

Live, Love, Cherish, Respect, and most of all have fun EVERYDAY.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Understanding...

Its hard for me to understand how two people can get along so easily yet one person has a hard time being honest with the other. We would basically finish each others sentences. Have the same ideas. Want to do the same things. But still honesty was difficult for her. Was it real. I don't know what to believe anymore. Why should I believe anything that she has said to me. It is obvious that her first choice is to lie and maybe admit to it later. Why is she like that. I don't understand. I have shown her that I am a good man. Why is she afraid of committing herself to a relationship. I understand not wanting to be hurt. But why would you hurt someone else. That is being hypocritical. Why would she do the same things to me that I did to her in the past yet say that those things still hurt her. Why not think of that when she was deciding whether or not to lie to me. Why not think of that before she decided to deal with other men. How can she be what she supposedly despises so much. That doesn't add up. That doesn't make sense. I want to believe that at some point in time her feelings were genuine. But it is extremely hard to convince myself of that being true.

Fred

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Time for a change????

Is what I've been doing lately not right? I have been asking myself this question quite frequently lately. I know that no one person is perfect nor is there a "perfect" way to live. But I can't help but ask myself is there something that I did that I shouldn't have or is there something that I should have done that I didn't do. Who knows. But I feel like I may need to try different things out to see if they work for me. So if you see me acting different, trying out different things, or just find yourself thinking "he usually doesn't do that", don't be surprised because it might be time for a change.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Its been too long...

Life, Life, Life…How, What, Where, Why, When, Who? How did I get here? What have I been doing? Where do I want to be? Why do I want to be there? When will I feel a sense of settlement? Who will I be with?

There are so many times in my life when I start asking myself these types of questions and sometimes I can’t answer them. I am not going too lie, it bothers me when I can’t answer them being the logical problem solver that I am. I feel like every question has an answer and I should be able to figure it out or find someone that can tell me. But I also realize that I am not meant to know everything. I think that so far in my life that has been one of the hardest things for to accept. It is extremely hard for me to accept that if even if I put my mind towards figuring out the answer that I may not find it. Why is this?

So many things happen in everyone’s lives. We interact with many people. We meet new people. We move on from bad relationships (including friendships). We grow. We stay the same. We learn. We love. We do so many things. But we always have to remember that this life thing is not guaranteed. Ask yourself questions. Push yourself. Don’t accept that you are not unique. There are over 6 billion different people on this earth. No two people are alike.

I try my hardest to be different. I try my hardest to take advantage of everyday. I try my hardest to show the people that I have in my life that I Love them and that they are special to me. I feel like that is part of my duty. I have to be that person in order for me not to feel like I am being the average person. I want to experience Love, sacrifice, commitment, respect, confidence, etc. All these actions and emotions that are so hard for people to accept and understand. I want that. I want to learn more about those actions and emotions. Sometimes I feel like that is what my life may be about. I know that I feel a sense of relaxation when I am around my friends and loved ones that share those feelings for me. I know that when I feel loved it causes me to want to love more. Don’t take love for granted. Cherish Love. Cherish life. Cherish today. All of these things are not guaranteed. I know that. That is why I live my life to the fullest. This is why I SHOW my love to my family and friends. This is why I SHOW my love when I find that special lady. I will never live my life any other way again.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Am I an aggressive driver?

I find it quite funny that I have been converted to a "Virginia" or "major city" driver over the past three years. This past three weeks in Michigan I have found myself driving like Jeff Gordon compared to everyone else. There is no such thing as a "passing" lane on the local roads in Lansing (maybe on the highway, but not like Va). Everyone is just cruisin' along not really trying to get anywhere anytime soon. In Virginia it was always a mad dash to get from point A to point B. I guess this is another thing I will have to adjust too while living in Michigan. Funny as it may sound I actually might miss the drivers in Virgina. Weird...

Peace...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Good Ol' Lansing Michigan...

I made it back safely. It feels weird living in Lansing after being gone for three years, but I know that I have some things to take care of here. While I am here I will definetly take advantage of being closer to my little brothers and other family members and continue to you grow as a person.

On another note, I think I like the idea of posting more random things in my blog. So be on the lookout. Until then...

Peace...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Keep It Movin'

I find myself thinking a lot more than usual as I am winding down to my last days living in Virginia. I think about how I am going to miss this area and a lot of the things it offers. I will miss the friends that I have made because they have made a good influence on my life. But I guess it is time for me to take on another section of my life and focus on being a good role model for my little brothers and set a good example for them in Michigan. It will be an adjustment for me but I know that I will be able to handle it. I was hoping that I would have the comfort of a special person by my side to aide in the adjustment of being back in Michigan, but that situation is a little rocky right now.
I have been through many tough times before in my life; therefore I know that I have the mental strength to endure more. But sometimes I wonder why things aren’t always what they seem and why things can’t just be a little easier. But I know that anything worth having in life has a price, and by that I don’t mean just money. I mean time, effort, sacrifice, determination, etc. I hadn’t understood that in the past as much as I do now, and I know that my understanding of that causes me to maneuver more strategically in my life.
I will continue to do me. I will continue to make strides to become a better person and have a better understanding about life. I will continue to try, key word try, to understand people and why they do the things that they do. Hopefully I am given many more years on this Earth in order to experience and learn new things in my life. I will take advantage of every day that I am given and I know that I will continue to grow.

On another note I saw this on a friends page and wanted to copy (hope you don't mind):
...
you arent limited by your past, you're limited by the amount of weight you refuse to release from your past...Deep

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Beginning

I have decided to start “blogging” since I am such a deep thinker (which I have heard from many people) and sometimes I feel like I just need to get things off of my chest. There are so many things that I encounter on a daily basis, which could decrease soon (we’ll get to that later), that I feel like I should write about them instead of thinking about them all day.

Today was, I guess you can call it, a typical day. Wake up and hit my snooze hoping that an extra 15 minutes of sleep will really make a difference. Mosey over to my computer check my email. Then proceed to wake up in the shower. Next I eat my fiberone bar (mmmmm) for a quick breakfast, and then it is off to my hour commute too work (can’t wait until I don’t have to do this anymore). I see the usual “DC commuters” at the train station and my people watching begins. Sometime it is funny to me how we all look like zombies while we wait for the train and how we look so “excited” to ride this wonderful train to work. Anyway, the train arrives on time, which is always nice, and I proceed to seat down in one of my usual seats (everyone has one). Now I focus on not falling in too deep of a sleep and missing my stop (which I have done before, I still laugh at myself about that).

Today on the train my thoughts seemed to be centered on the move I will be making soon to Lansing. I will conduct my same job, just at my house in Lansing. Very nice, I know. But I will still have to travel to Virginia 1 hour every week in order to fulfill requirements of the work at home program. I will however be able to see my family on a regular basis and spend more time with the special person in my life. I will be moving in about two weeks and it feels like I have so much to do. I have to start packing and throwing away crap that I don’t need anymore. I have to buy a desk for my office at the new place in Lansing, a sofa for the living room, tables, lights, etc. I don’t mind buying all of this, but sometimes I think I should just live like I live in college and throw a bunch crap together and call it “furniture”. Anyway, I am looking forward to the move, but not looking forward to the things that have to be done. I just wish I could flick a switch and be settled in Lansing.

It will all be worth it once I am around the family routinely and seeing more of that beautiful smile that brightens my day.