Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Random rant…

Life man! Crazy how fast things can change. People out of your life. New people in your life. Living in a new place. Saying goodbye to another place. Life is real. I try to think ahead and plan things out. But I continue to realize that I cannot anticipate everything. There are too many factors involve in my life making anticipating some things impossible. I just have to live. “Live, Love, Laugh” they say and I am attempting to do just that. Easier said than done some times though. Emotions, feelings, reactions, etc can get the best of me thereby putting my in none ideal situations. But I’m learning to control these things and more consistently put myself in better situations. This life thing is definitely going to be a lifelong learning process for me though.

On 60 minutes this past weekend they did a story about people whom can remember every day of their lives in detail. WOW…I can only imagine having that ability. They spoke of even remembering and reliving the feelings and emotions that they had during pivotal moments in their lives. That would be tough. Time heals wounds, at least some wounds, but for these people that doesn’t apply. Over time I’ve been able to move on from certain things because I have emotionally moved on from the feelings that I had at that time. Some things have taken more time than others. Having the ability to relive these feelings at any moment in time would be extremely difficult for me. Crazy how our can minds work.

So I will continue to take one breath, one step, one day, one week, etc…at a time. No other way to do it for me. Getting too far ahead does me no good. Living in the moment and balancing my life is my focus.

On another note…I got a new camera (Canon sx30 IS) and I’ve been experimenting with taking “better” photos. We’ll see how this goes :-/

Fred

Posted at fk3.blogspot.com

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Love

I decide to respond to my status with a blog post instead of responding with a long comment on my Facebook wall.

Just as a reminder my status was:

Something I've been thinking about today....Ladies, lets say you are dating a man who treats you like a queen and does a lot of things which make you happy and feel special. But he never says I love you. Would you be upset with him because he doesn't say he loves you?

So many ladies responded and made good points. My perspective is that we tend to value words more than actions. Why is this? I believe that there are many reasons: Our upbringing, how we observed relationships or people interacting while we are growing up, our environment, and many others. I think that inside we realize that people’s actions are what show us their feelings for us, but somehow we allow words to skew actions.

In general men and woman are different. Women tend to be more emotional and men are more reserved emotionally. But, men do show their feelings and emotions as do woman. When a man does many things for a woman that makes her happy that is a way of showing his feelings for that woman.

Let’s say that a man cooks for the woman a lot, cleans the house, gives her flowers, compromises on things to make her happy, tells her that she makes him happy, doesn’t lie to that her, doesn’t degrade her, and does many small things that just put a smile on her face. Could this man love this woman? Of course he could. Even if he doesn’t say it (much) and even if he doesn’t admit it to himself (yet).

On the other side. Let’s say a man lies to a woman, doesn’t do much around the house, doesn’t make that woman feel special by many things that he does, and degrades her at times. But, he always tells her that he loves her, tells her he wants to marry her one day, and he tells her he wants to have a family with her one day. Doesn’t this man love this woman? Or is the better question does this man understand what love is? Could be a combination of both.

In my opinion love is an action not feeling, although love may include feelings. Let me explain…We experience many feelings: Happiness, sadness, excitement, tiredness, etc. These feelings may cause us to do things. But these feelings are temporary. Is love temporary? I believe it isn’t. Love takes time to develop and it also takes time to deplete. Over time a person may fall in love with another person and begin to do more things that show the other person their love for them. Love is that person compromising more in order to make that other person happy and also doing more of the little things that they know the other person will appreciate. Doing these things makes both people happy because it’s based on love. Although that person compromises on something that they may not like, they don’t mind because they know that it makes the other person happy in turn giving then satisfaction in making the other person happy. So they are putting love before their feeling of not liking something or something not making them happy (short term). So love, to me, is not short term in any way. Therefore, it cannot be based solely on feelings which are short term.

Yes in a perfect world I’m sure a woman, or any person for that matter, would like the best of both worlds, a man who shows them and tells them all the time that he loves them. But why do we expect perfection from an imperfect world or imperfect beings? We as people need to better understand ourselves and others and be more realistic with our lives. This includes our relationships and knowing that a person whom we may be dating actions are what is important. Our actions are what display our true perspective on things not our words and these actions are what can build a solid foundation for a relationship. Words, or only words, provide a hollow foundation for a relationship which has a greater chance of collapsing if these words are not reinforced with consistent actions.

So ladies although a man may not tell you he loves you, he may love you. Maybe try understating that if he makes you happy and does many things that put a smile on your face that he does show you love and may love you. Personally, I’d rather have a woman do many things that make me happy and put a big smile on my face than her just saying she loves me and not doing those things. Also, don’t believe a man loves you only because he tells you that he loves you. If his words are not backed up by actions, chances are that his words are hollow…

Just my thoughts :D

Posted at fk3.blogspot.com