Random rant…

Life man! Crazy how fast things can change. People out of your life. New people in your life. Living in a new place. Saying goodbye to another place. Life is real. I try to think ahead and plan things out. But I continue to realize that I cannot anticipate everything. There are too many factors involve in my life making anticipating some things impossible. I just have to live. “Live, Love, Laugh” they say and I am attempting to do just that. Easier said than done some times though. Emotions, feelings, reactions, etc can get the best of me thereby putting my in none ideal situations. But I’m learning to control these things and more consistently put myself in better situations. This life thing is definitely going to be a lifelong learning process for me though.

On 60 minutes this past weekend they did a story about people whom can remember every day of their lives in detail. WOW…I can only imagine having that ability. They spoke of even remembering and reliving the feelings and emotions that they had during pivotal moments in their lives. That would be tough. Time heals wounds, at least some wounds, but for these people that doesn’t apply. Over time I’ve been able to move on from certain things because I have emotionally moved on from the feelings that I had at that time. Some things have taken more time than others. Having the ability to relive these feelings at any moment in time would be extremely difficult for me. Crazy how our can minds work.

So I will continue to take one breath, one step, one day, one week, etc…at a time. No other way to do it for me. Getting too far ahead does me no good. Living in the moment and balancing my life is my focus.

On another note…I got a new camera (Canon sx30 IS) and I’ve been experimenting with taking “better” photos. We’ll see how this goes :-/

Fred

Posted at fk3.blogspot.com

Love

I decide to respond to my status with a blog post instead of responding with a long comment on my Facebook wall.

Just as a reminder my status was:

Something I've been thinking about today....Ladies, lets say you are dating a man who treats you like a queen and does a lot of things which make you happy and feel special. But he never says I love you. Would you be upset with him because he doesn't say he loves you?

So many ladies responded and made good points. My perspective is that we tend to value words more than actions. Why is this? I believe that there are many reasons: Our upbringing, how we observed relationships or people interacting while we are growing up, our environment, and many others. I think that inside we realize that people’s actions are what show us their feelings for us, but somehow we allow words to skew actions.

In general men and woman are different. Women tend to be more emotional and men are more reserved emotionally. But, men do show their feelings and emotions as do woman. When a man does many things for a woman that makes her happy that is a way of showing his feelings for that woman.

Let’s say that a man cooks for the woman a lot, cleans the house, gives her flowers, compromises on things to make her happy, tells her that she makes him happy, doesn’t lie to that her, doesn’t degrade her, and does many small things that just put a smile on her face. Could this man love this woman? Of course he could. Even if he doesn’t say it (much) and even if he doesn’t admit it to himself (yet).

On the other side. Let’s say a man lies to a woman, doesn’t do much around the house, doesn’t make that woman feel special by many things that he does, and degrades her at times. But, he always tells her that he loves her, tells her he wants to marry her one day, and he tells her he wants to have a family with her one day. Doesn’t this man love this woman? Or is the better question does this man understand what love is? Could be a combination of both.

In my opinion love is an action not feeling, although love may include feelings. Let me explain…We experience many feelings: Happiness, sadness, excitement, tiredness, etc. These feelings may cause us to do things. But these feelings are temporary. Is love temporary? I believe it isn’t. Love takes time to develop and it also takes time to deplete. Over time a person may fall in love with another person and begin to do more things that show the other person their love for them. Love is that person compromising more in order to make that other person happy and also doing more of the little things that they know the other person will appreciate. Doing these things makes both people happy because it’s based on love. Although that person compromises on something that they may not like, they don’t mind because they know that it makes the other person happy in turn giving then satisfaction in making the other person happy. So they are putting love before their feeling of not liking something or something not making them happy (short term). So love, to me, is not short term in any way. Therefore, it cannot be based solely on feelings which are short term.

Yes in a perfect world I’m sure a woman, or any person for that matter, would like the best of both worlds, a man who shows them and tells them all the time that he loves them. But why do we expect perfection from an imperfect world or imperfect beings? We as people need to better understand ourselves and others and be more realistic with our lives. This includes our relationships and knowing that a person whom we may be dating actions are what is important. Our actions are what display our true perspective on things not our words and these actions are what can build a solid foundation for a relationship. Words, or only words, provide a hollow foundation for a relationship which has a greater chance of collapsing if these words are not reinforced with consistent actions.

So ladies although a man may not tell you he loves you, he may love you. Maybe try understating that if he makes you happy and does many things that put a smile on your face that he does show you love and may love you. Personally, I’d rather have a woman do many things that make me happy and put a big smile on my face than her just saying she loves me and not doing those things. Also, don’t believe a man loves you only because he tells you that he loves you. If his words are not backed up by actions, chances are that his words are hollow…

Just my thoughts :D

Posted at fk3.blogspot.com

No more man boobs LOL

Life…It’s definitely a journey. I’m feeling GREAT though. I’m 12 weeks into working out and taking care of my body better. I’m down below 190lbs for the first time in a long time. I may need to go clothes shopping because my jeans and shorts are too big on me now. I think that’s a good problem to have :D I also can play an entire flag football game without struggling each play and I’m also sleeping a lot better. Maybe I’ll even post a before and after picture LOL…we’ll see.

Posted at FK3.blogspot.com

"Huh!"

I had a BLAST this past weekend in South Carolina and Georgia. It was good to kick it with old friends and meet some new ones. We stayed in Beaufort, SC with friends and they were great host for the weekend. I had some amazing seafood at a restaurant in Beaufort, SC (actually Port Royal, SC) 11th Street Dockside, hung out for a night in Savannah, GA on river street, and had plenty of laughs. I will be heading back again. Shot out to Mario and Ashley for being such great host, T Redd for the surprise of the weekend LOL., and little Adriana for being my new homie.

The title is an inside joke from the weekend ;)

Work it out

It feels good to be back in the habit of working out and eating slightly better. I’m down below 200lbs for the first time in probably 3 years. Let’s see if I can meet my goal of 180lbs by my birthday, per a challenge by my pops.

Being in better shape will also help me out at flag football on Sundays. I really don't want to pull my hammy AGAIN :( so dropping a few lbs will help that.

Lets go!!!

Ha!

It’s interesting to me how I fool myself into believing some things. One moment I feel as though I have a new understand of myself and the path that I am trekking in my life. Then life slaps me in the face, I begin to transgress my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like I’m back to where I “began”. I get into moods where I will start to analyze everything that I have done and even attempt to trace possibilities of if I had of gone left instead of right. I feel as though my problem solving itch pushes me to over think past and current situations thereby causing me to second guess any and every decision that I have made and am going to make. This undercuts my understanding of knowing that I am not perfect nor am I going to make the “right” decision all the time. Yet, this is something that I have a difficult time accepting. Now, I have learned many lessons from decisions that I have made that didn’t turn out as I thought they would and I feel these lessons gave me a better understanding of some things. But, separating my rational thoughts from my irrational feelings is always a challenge. I’ve understood this for a while now and I am learning that controlling these irrational feelings will be a long process. I look back at many situations and understand what I did good, bad, right, wrong, etc. But my feelings have not completely caught up and moved on. By the way, I’m not just talking about relationships. My feelings attempt to control my mind thereby pushing me to wonder “did you really do the right thing?”, “are you sure you made the right decision?”, “maybe you should try to fix this”… I’m learning to not let my feelings push my mind into being any more irrational than it already is. To me, this will be a test that I know I can concur. But, I know it will take time, patience, and practice. Keeping my life simple is a key for me. I don’t like complicated, I don’t like drama, and I won’t let others bring me down or pull me back to how I used to be.

I am a big collage of all the decisions that I have made good and bad, all the people who have impacted my life, and all the experiences that I have had. This is Freddie. I‘m not where I would like to be yet in my life. But, I am not ashamed of the mistakes that I have made because I wouldn’t be where I am today without making those decisions. I have gotten lucky because I have done some very dumb things and didn’t have to pay large consequences for them. But, that’s life. So where will I be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in five years, etc….I don’t know. But, I will do my best to continue moving forward while enjoying my life and impacting others along the way.

Cheers to life….it’s what you make it

Family, Friends, Life, Living...

I’m feeling extra motivated after a great weekend with family and friends back home. I love that my brothers are growing into great young men and seeing my parents relationship as strong as it has ever been. We had family pictures this weekend and it was the first time that we had taken them as a whole family in almost 10 years. It felt great to be whole again (as a family). I’m excited to see the things I will accomplish in my life and to also see my brothers continue to accomplish great things.
At the graduation some of the speakers mentioned quotes that resonated in me and affirmed a lot of feelings and thoughts I have about my life. Striving for greatest and being different, in my life, is something that I have been working towards these past years, and continuing to balance my life also. Having a good balance between business and pleasure is important to me, and I feel the best when I am balanced between the two.
Life isn’t easy. Relationships aren’t easy. Learning isn’t easy. Nothing in life worth having or achieving is easy. But, I’m up for any challenged that I am faced with in my life and I will support those important to me in their challenges also.
Another step is coming and my life and I will continue to take one step at a time. This adjustment will not be easy for me, but I will stay focused on my goals in order to make the adjustments easier.

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fk3.blogspot.com

Mind bleed...

I'm up wayyyy too late on a work day knowing that I need to get up early and work in the morning. Anyway, just been marinating on a few things lately. Same ol' stuff...work, life, relationship, my future, BLAH!!! So many decisions made and hopefully many more in my future.

Choices

Well currently I should be working because I’m slightly behind on work for this bi-week, but there are a few things that I’ve had on my mind for a while that I have been “marinating” about…

Lately I’ve been really thinking about phrases like…”Everything happens for a reason”, “It was mean to be”, “God put me in this position for a reason”, etc… I’m not sure if I agree with any of these statements. Let me explain.

So first, agreeing with the statements above imply that we have no control over our actions or no matter what we do the “same” things will happen regardless. So if I choose to speed and I get a ticket for speeding, I guess it was “meant to be”. Um no, I could have chosen not to speed and I wouldn’t have gotten the ticket. Obviously, I understand what the repercussions of speeding can be. Yet I chose to ignore them. We choose to do many things, or not do things, and all of these things affect us (and sometimes others) in many ways. It’s our choice and our decision to do or not to do things in our life, right??? If I hadn’t chosen to go to school and get a degree in engineering, I wouldn’t have the job I have today. So this job wasn’t meant to be. I made the choices necessary to be able to have the opportunity to get this job and this job has provided me with many other opportunities that I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t choose to attend MSU. I could have easily decided to not go to school and have a lower paying job, or even pursue a different career entirely, and then I would have been faced with many different choices to make…

Life is about the choices that we make, good and bad, right and wrong, or indifferent…but they are still our choices. I am in the position today because of ALL the decision that I have made in my life. These choices have played a role in me being who I am today. I have learned from all the decisions I have made, and I will continue to learn from the decision that I make in the future.

posted at fk3.blogspot.com

"Officer I really have to go..."

I can personally relate to this bumper sticker. Melvin and T Redd know the story behind this....LOL. CLASSIC!!!

posted at fk3.blogspot.com

Putting things in perspective…

I feel exceptionally good after a few days with my homeboy P, a few days with my parents, and then a few days in Miami with my parents, some aunts, uncles, and cousins. Being around these people who love me for me, no matter what I have done, helped me a lot. It really helped to remind myself how important love ones are in my life. There are so many things that I have been thinking about lately and struggling with. But being around them really helped me put some things back in perspective. I love my family and friends very much. They have provided me with so much love, advice, wisdom, expertise, etc. So I will be making sure that I don’t forget the ones who have helped me become the person that I am today. I have many things that I have to work on, but I know that the ground work is laid and all I have to do is focus on continuing to build.

Fred

posted at
fk3.blogspot.com

Sensing a change...

Have you every felt like you had a break through or realized something that made you feel a sense of clarity....That's a point that I feel I am at now. I feel as though my life is at another turning point and I have no doubt that I am heading in the right direction. It feels great. I'm so excited to see whats coming up....

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fk3.blogspot.com

Getting it done...

It has been an interesting year for me. A lot of changes in my life and I have reflected on a lot of these things recently. I’m happy with some, not so happy/satisfied with others. But that’s life. I’m glad that I started back reading. Television is really getting old. It’s so redundant and filled with a lot of negative garbage. I understand that it is entertainment, but sometimes it goes a little far for me. I have a few shows that I watch, but only a FEW. I just finished The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho which was a very good book, it made me think about my life and what I am pursuing. I definitely recommend it. Now I am reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and it seems good also. I feel much better after reading for an hour and learning something than sitting in front of the tube like a zombie LOL.

So what is in store this year…I’m not sure. I have some plans and I will be making changes to pursue those plans. But I also expect life to happen and when it does I will make moves accordingly. I definitely will travel this year and explore Tampa and Florida more. I’ll also get back to golfing because I enjoying that A LOT, although it is extremely frustrating at times LOL. Other than that…I’m glad that I woke up today healthy with the ability to enjoy this life another day.

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The Crying Rose.

After yesterday, I have A LOT more respect for people who get tattoos. When Bryant was coloring in my Crying Rose I felt like I was going to cry sometimes LOL….Not really but it REALLY hurt. But I am so happy with the finished piece. Bryant at Fat Ink tattoo is the MAN!!! Very great artist and I appreciate him taking my idea of a Crying Rose dedicated to my Grandparents and turning it into this finished piece. It’s amazing to me how some people have that artistic eye and can see things that other people can’t even image. This tattoo was a vision of mine almost 3 years ago and it’s amazing for me to finally see it become a reality.

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Up Early…

Happy New Year to all my family, friends, associates, etc. I woke up early this morning elated to be allowed to see another day, stand up tall, and breathe the fresh air as I took my morning walk. What’s on my plate for 2010…I don’t know. As I said in a recent status, one thing that has continued to slap me in the face during my life is expect the unexpected. There are many things that I would love to experience or see happen during this next year and I will do whats necessary to achieve those things, but life happens and I will have to maneuver accordingly.

So I am not going to list out the things that I want to experience but I will say that I will continue to break the mold. I am never surprised by my achievements because I know that I am capable of great things. I must continue to strive for greatness to achieve the things in life that many people are not willing to work for. Life is short, we only get one chance. Why waste it???

So Live, Love, and Laugh…

On another note…the tattoo is getting color (finished) on Saturday. Pictures will come shortly after.

Freddie

Posted at http://fk3.blogspot.com/