That whispering voice

There is a small part of me that will sabotage things if I let it.

Sometimes that part of me is a slight whisper that I get in my head, saying all the things I like to hear during the times I'd most appreciate not hearing them.  That whisper has all the great ideas and to do's that attract me.  Sometimes it wins too.  And I find myself pulled away from work, walking around the garden, finding plants that may need tending to. Probably then getting lost in a task in the garden. Finding more space to plant some seeds, or especially now, tidying up from all the squirrel holes from their winter storing and retrieving of acorns.

The thing is, that voice is definitely the loudest when I'm doing the things that I don't want to be doing.  Which is mainly the current job.  Even me knowing that a plan is set for this to change, the resistance I get to showing up for the job doesn't lesson. That voice of sabotage creeps into my head, especially in the busiest of work weeks, and offers up all the great things to do except work!

That whispering voice that is a part of me, isn't a bad part. It is actually quite helpful at times. 

I don't look at myself as being made up as one "self" per se.  But more as a collective of selves that all find a way to work together while we're moving along.  In some moments, one self may be more prominent than the others.  But all having a function, purpose, a meaning of sorts to me. 

There is most certainly a part of me that I go to when I have to dig deep down, in order to meet a work deadline, silencing all the distractions out in order to get things done.  Because I've never been that person to quit or not show up when things get difficult. So I know what that feeling is when pushing pass that resistance, that whispering voice of sabotage, by digging deep down and silencing it when absolutely needed.

Then there is also that part of me that needs its time to walk around the garden or have a dance party with the family while listening to music before dinner time.  

They are all parts of me. Different selves, each being where we are at for a reason or purpose.  Even the part of me that wants to sabotage me.  It's part of me, for a purpose, it just may not be for the purpose at that current moment.  

I'm learning to acknowledge the whisper, give it it's time and space, and move on if needed, letting it know that it'll be your time later.