Tick…Tock…Tick…Tock

I was speaking with a friend the other day and one thing that kept coming up in our conversation was time.  This person, as do I, focuses on really taking advantage of all of the time given to them.  Time is our most precious gift and I know that at times (pun intended) many of us forget this. 

We trade time for many things, money being the most popular.  Then we spend this money on other things that occupy our time.  So we trade time doing something we may not enjoy for time doing something that we may enjoy.  Really sitting back and thinking about this makes me wonder if this makes any sense at all…Obviously there are situations where people enjoy their jobs or enjoy doing whatever it is they do for money.  So for them the sacrifice of time isn’t as drastic.  But for many others, whom hate their jobs or just don’t enjoy it, this trade can be quite detrimental.  Me…I enjoy my job.  But I also don’t have to sacrifice as much time as others.  Plus my time is spent in my home and not at a traditional “office”.  I am lucky in this regard.  So if we trade our time working for money, why don’t we spend more time outside of working doing things we actually enjoy, or really taking advantage of Life!

Lets break down time…

We have 24 hours in each day.

7 days in each week.

365 days each year.

52 weeks in each year.

The average life expectancy for a person is about 78 years.

We spend anywhere between 7-8 hours sleeping each night.

For the sake of simplicity I’ll say the average adult works 40 hours each week and gets 1 week off per year.

The math…

8 hours of sleep each day * 7 days a week = 56 hours.

80 hours of work in 2 weeks.

112 hours of sleep in 2 weeks.

2920 hours of sleep each year.

2040 hours of work (minus the 1 week off).

2920 + 2040 = 4960 hours each year spent sleeping and working.

8760 hours total in each year – 4960 = **3800 hours of “free time” in a year**

3800 * 78 years = **296,400 hours of “free time” in an average lifetime**

Forgive my math breakdown above…but breaking down the math helps me visualize time better being the very logical and analytical person that I am.  As shown above, a person whom has a full time job and averages 8 hours of sleep per night will have 3800 hours to do what they want each year and they may have 296,400 hours in their lifetime.  These do not subtract travel time to and from work or any location, cleaning ourselves, or any other activity that takes 15-30 minutes here and there.  So the actual totals are much smaller.  

These hours may seem massive.  But they are not once compared to the time we trade doing things we must do like sleep or earn money.  

What we choose to use our “free” time on should be considered more valuable to us than what we are trading our time for doing work, sleep, etc.  If we reminded ourselves of how precious time is we wouldn’t trade it for just anything or to spend it with just anyone.  We would require that thing or person to mean a lot to us.  Instead we trade times for many things that do not benefit us in anyway.  Why do this?  If you knew you had 1 year to live exactly from today what would you do with your time? Would you spend any of your time watching TV? Would you be spending 8 hours each week day working? Would you sleep 8 hours a night? Would you not keep in touch and build relationships with your family, friends, and loved ones? Would you travel the world, country, or outside of your comfort zone?  Would you not appreciate all the little moments in your life spent doing the “little things” like enjoying a good meal or conversation with another human?

These are things that many of us don’t think about.  We spend a lot of our time earning money, but what do we do with that money…do we spend it traveling the world to experience new cultures and meet new people, do we spend it helping others in their lives, do we spend it on friends and family, do we use it for entertainment…the list goes on.  Many of us spend our time getting a higher education so that we may earn higher amounts of money for our time.  But, earning more money doesn’t make the trade easier because many of us compound our expenses and don’t get full use out of the more money we are earning.  

Lets not waste time…I’ve thought about potentially using another word here instead of waste.  But I want it to be clear that time is precious, therefore waste fits for me.  Don’t waste your time in a job that isn’t either providing you with the joy of being at that job or the income to do many other things you enjoy supplementing not enjoying the job.  Don’t waste your time with friends or in relationships that aren’t mutually beneficial.  If someone isn’t helping you in some way, shape, or form, they are hurting you.  The best relationships are about helping each other not bringing one another down.  Surround yourself with people whom want to build each other up and have similar goals and ambitions as you.  Surround yourself with people whom also appreciate your time and understand how precious it is to you and their selves.   

Some people learn in their lives how precious time is and begin to take advantage of all of the wonderful moments life has to offer.  Others don’t realize how precious life is unfortunately until it is too late.  I choose to enjoy the moments in my life to the best of my ability.  Of course it’s all about balance (I’ve blogged about this before), so I’m not quitting my job (yet) to travel around the world living out of a backpack.  But I am doing my best to travel to as many new places that  I can, meet new people and build relationships with them, work on my current relationships with friends, family, and loves ones, and enjoying and embraces all the moments in my life good and bad.  These are things to me that are worth my time.  What is worth your time?

Fred

Approaching the 3-0

It’s definitely been a while since I’ve taken time to post some thoughts on here.  My thought process has been quite active but I haven’t had that overwhelming urge to share many of these thoughts until now.  A thought that has had a constant presence in my mind is my perspective on my life and how I approach many situations now.  My perspective has evolved after having the amazing experience of traveling to Cambodia and being back home almost saddens me.  Let me explain…I have regular thoughts of how people are living in Cambodia knowing a little about what they have experienced. This has humbled me greatly.  I am a very fortunate person who has been able to achieve many things in life that some people will never experience or even have a chance of experiencing.  I’m not just talking about driving (nice) cars, traveling around the world, or having a well paying job.  It’s the things that we consider simple that others yearn for….running water, eating regularly, traveling more than a few hours away from the place you were born, being able to experience other cultures and places, a roof over our head, and stability.  Over these past few months I have been focused on really appreciating everything that I am able to have in my life especially the simple things. 

Life is tough.  But one thing that I think many of us forget is we don’t have as tough a life as many others do across the world.  If we learn to appreciate the simple things that we are able to have on a more consistent basis we will only improve as people.  This will start a ripple in your life that will allow for a greater appreciation for many things leading to a greater appreciation for your life in general.

As I approach my 30^th birthday I find myself less and less excited about that day.  Instead I’m becoming more excited for everyday that I am able to wake up and appreciate the people who I have been fortunate to meet and have relationships with, the job that provides me with flexibility to do many things outside of work, a healthy body that allows me to be able to still play sports, a wonderful family that has always supported me, great friends that don’t always tell me what I want to hear, and living in a great city that is very diverse and allows me to meet new people and experience many other cultures.  This list could go on and on, but I’ll leave it at that.  

I hope that soon I will once again be able to travel abroad because I know that these experiences will only help me in my life journey.  Opening our minds to others and their experiences only enhances our mind and perspective.  Life’s a journey…embrace every moment of it.

Fred

Random rant…

Life man! Crazy how fast things can change. People out of your life. New people in your life. Living in a new place. Saying goodbye to another place. Life is real. I try to think ahead and plan things out. But I continue to realize that I cannot anticipate everything. There are too many factors involve in my life making anticipating some things impossible. I just have to live. “Live, Love, Laugh” they say and I am attempting to do just that. Easier said than done some times though. Emotions, feelings, reactions, etc can get the best of me thereby putting my in none ideal situations. But I’m learning to control these things and more consistently put myself in better situations. This life thing is definitely going to be a lifelong learning process for me though.

On 60 minutes this past weekend they did a story about people whom can remember every day of their lives in detail. WOW…I can only imagine having that ability. They spoke of even remembering and reliving the feelings and emotions that they had during pivotal moments in their lives. That would be tough. Time heals wounds, at least some wounds, but for these people that doesn’t apply. Over time I’ve been able to move on from certain things because I have emotionally moved on from the feelings that I had at that time. Some things have taken more time than others. Having the ability to relive these feelings at any moment in time would be extremely difficult for me. Crazy how our can minds work.

So I will continue to take one breath, one step, one day, one week, etc…at a time. No other way to do it for me. Getting too far ahead does me no good. Living in the moment and balancing my life is my focus.

On another note…I got a new camera (Canon sx30 IS) and I’ve been experimenting with taking “better” photos. We’ll see how this goes :-/

Fred

Posted at fk3.blogspot.com

Love

I decide to respond to my status with a blog post instead of responding with a long comment on my Facebook wall.

Just as a reminder my status was:

Something I've been thinking about today....Ladies, lets say you are dating a man who treats you like a queen and does a lot of things which make you happy and feel special. But he never says I love you. Would you be upset with him because he doesn't say he loves you?

So many ladies responded and made good points. My perspective is that we tend to value words more than actions. Why is this? I believe that there are many reasons: Our upbringing, how we observed relationships or people interacting while we are growing up, our environment, and many others. I think that inside we realize that people’s actions are what show us their feelings for us, but somehow we allow words to skew actions.

In general men and woman are different. Women tend to be more emotional and men are more reserved emotionally. But, men do show their feelings and emotions as do woman. When a man does many things for a woman that makes her happy that is a way of showing his feelings for that woman.

Let’s say that a man cooks for the woman a lot, cleans the house, gives her flowers, compromises on things to make her happy, tells her that she makes him happy, doesn’t lie to that her, doesn’t degrade her, and does many small things that just put a smile on her face. Could this man love this woman? Of course he could. Even if he doesn’t say it (much) and even if he doesn’t admit it to himself (yet).

On the other side. Let’s say a man lies to a woman, doesn’t do much around the house, doesn’t make that woman feel special by many things that he does, and degrades her at times. But, he always tells her that he loves her, tells her he wants to marry her one day, and he tells her he wants to have a family with her one day. Doesn’t this man love this woman? Or is the better question does this man understand what love is? Could be a combination of both.

In my opinion love is an action not feeling, although love may include feelings. Let me explain…We experience many feelings: Happiness, sadness, excitement, tiredness, etc. These feelings may cause us to do things. But these feelings are temporary. Is love temporary? I believe it isn’t. Love takes time to develop and it also takes time to deplete. Over time a person may fall in love with another person and begin to do more things that show the other person their love for them. Love is that person compromising more in order to make that other person happy and also doing more of the little things that they know the other person will appreciate. Doing these things makes both people happy because it’s based on love. Although that person compromises on something that they may not like, they don’t mind because they know that it makes the other person happy in turn giving then satisfaction in making the other person happy. So they are putting love before their feeling of not liking something or something not making them happy (short term). So love, to me, is not short term in any way. Therefore, it cannot be based solely on feelings which are short term.

Yes in a perfect world I’m sure a woman, or any person for that matter, would like the best of both worlds, a man who shows them and tells them all the time that he loves them. But why do we expect perfection from an imperfect world or imperfect beings? We as people need to better understand ourselves and others and be more realistic with our lives. This includes our relationships and knowing that a person whom we may be dating actions are what is important. Our actions are what display our true perspective on things not our words and these actions are what can build a solid foundation for a relationship. Words, or only words, provide a hollow foundation for a relationship which has a greater chance of collapsing if these words are not reinforced with consistent actions.

So ladies although a man may not tell you he loves you, he may love you. Maybe try understating that if he makes you happy and does many things that put a smile on your face that he does show you love and may love you. Personally, I’d rather have a woman do many things that make me happy and put a big smile on my face than her just saying she loves me and not doing those things. Also, don’t believe a man loves you only because he tells you that he loves you. If his words are not backed up by actions, chances are that his words are hollow…

Just my thoughts :D

Posted at fk3.blogspot.com

Ha!

It’s interesting to me how I fool myself into believing some things. One moment I feel as though I have a new understand of myself and the path that I am trekking in my life. Then life slaps me in the face, I begin to transgress my thoughts and feelings, and I feel like I’m back to where I “began”. I get into moods where I will start to analyze everything that I have done and even attempt to trace possibilities of if I had of gone left instead of right. I feel as though my problem solving itch pushes me to over think past and current situations thereby causing me to second guess any and every decision that I have made and am going to make. This undercuts my understanding of knowing that I am not perfect nor am I going to make the “right” decision all the time. Yet, this is something that I have a difficult time accepting. Now, I have learned many lessons from decisions that I have made that didn’t turn out as I thought they would and I feel these lessons gave me a better understanding of some things. But, separating my rational thoughts from my irrational feelings is always a challenge. I’ve understood this for a while now and I am learning that controlling these irrational feelings will be a long process. I look back at many situations and understand what I did good, bad, right, wrong, etc. But my feelings have not completely caught up and moved on. By the way, I’m not just talking about relationships. My feelings attempt to control my mind thereby pushing me to wonder “did you really do the right thing?”, “are you sure you made the right decision?”, “maybe you should try to fix this”… I’m learning to not let my feelings push my mind into being any more irrational than it already is. To me, this will be a test that I know I can concur. But, I know it will take time, patience, and practice. Keeping my life simple is a key for me. I don’t like complicated, I don’t like drama, and I won’t let others bring me down or pull me back to how I used to be.

I am a big collage of all the decisions that I have made good and bad, all the people who have impacted my life, and all the experiences that I have had. This is Freddie. I‘m not where I would like to be yet in my life. But, I am not ashamed of the mistakes that I have made because I wouldn’t be where I am today without making those decisions. I have gotten lucky because I have done some very dumb things and didn’t have to pay large consequences for them. But, that’s life. So where will I be tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, in five years, etc….I don’t know. But, I will do my best to continue moving forward while enjoying my life and impacting others along the way.

Cheers to life….it’s what you make it

Family, Friends, Life, Living...

I’m feeling extra motivated after a great weekend with family and friends back home. I love that my brothers are growing into great young men and seeing my parents relationship as strong as it has ever been. We had family pictures this weekend and it was the first time that we had taken them as a whole family in almost 10 years. It felt great to be whole again (as a family). I’m excited to see the things I will accomplish in my life and to also see my brothers continue to accomplish great things.
At the graduation some of the speakers mentioned quotes that resonated in me and affirmed a lot of feelings and thoughts I have about my life. Striving for greatest and being different, in my life, is something that I have been working towards these past years, and continuing to balance my life also. Having a good balance between business and pleasure is important to me, and I feel the best when I am balanced between the two.
Life isn’t easy. Relationships aren’t easy. Learning isn’t easy. Nothing in life worth having or achieving is easy. But, I’m up for any challenged that I am faced with in my life and I will support those important to me in their challenges also.
Another step is coming and my life and I will continue to take one step at a time. This adjustment will not be easy for me, but I will stay focused on my goals in order to make the adjustments easier.

Posted at
fk3.blogspot.com

Mind bleed...

I'm up wayyyy too late on a work day knowing that I need to get up early and work in the morning. Anyway, just been marinating on a few things lately. Same ol' stuff...work, life, relationship, my future, BLAH!!! So many decisions made and hopefully many more in my future.

Putting things in perspective…

I feel exceptionally good after a few days with my homeboy P, a few days with my parents, and then a few days in Miami with my parents, some aunts, uncles, and cousins. Being around these people who love me for me, no matter what I have done, helped me a lot. It really helped to remind myself how important love ones are in my life. There are so many things that I have been thinking about lately and struggling with. But being around them really helped me put some things back in perspective. I love my family and friends very much. They have provided me with so much love, advice, wisdom, expertise, etc. So I will be making sure that I don’t forget the ones who have helped me become the person that I am today. I have many things that I have to work on, but I know that the ground work is laid and all I have to do is focus on continuing to build.

Fred

posted at
fk3.blogspot.com

2009 coming to an end....

Well well well. Taking care of business at work. Passed my review. That was a relief. Now once I pass the next one, I get my next promotion. Moving on up as some people would say. Now that is my job. What about my life. Many things good, many things ok, and some things that need work/change. I posted a status a while ago which ask the question:

Why do we work hard at our jobs but not in our lives….

This caused me to think about myself a lot. What am I doing in my personal life that I value. What am I doing that I feel is improving myself or others around me. I feel fortunate to have experienced many of the things I have and to be in the position that I am. But there is still a sense of improvement that I have.

There are still questions that I feel like I have yet to answer for myself. There is still a level that I am wanting to reach for relationships. There are still goals that I am striving for and there are things that I feel I need to devote more time too as far as improving Freddie.

So I need to refocus my attention on these things that will improve me and the things and/or people that I value. This is what I will do and will implement from now on.

On another note….getting Inked starting Monday. First sitting of two. Can’t wait.

Freddie

Adversity

I have many relationships with many different people. All of these relationships are different. Some people are acquaintances, some are co-workers, some are family, some are friends, etc… Over time I have realized that I value these relationships differently. I have also learned that it may not be productive to have expectations for these relationships. Let me explain….
The value that I (and the other person) establish happens in many ways. The ease of interaction or how much that person and I “click”, the sacrifice that I and the other person provide to help one another out, and many other things. Some relationships take many years to show whether or not that relationship will stand the test of time and adversity. The one aspect that I will focus on is just that, adversity. What happens or how does that person react or act in an adverse situation whether it is with you or just with them. To me this is extremely critical in deciding if this person is someone that I can trust to maintain their “cool” and presence in a tough situation. They show me during this time if I can depend on them to be there for me when I lose my cool and I need that other perspective to look at things from another perspective. Many people lack this from my experience. The people whom I consider to know me the best, or my best friends, are people who provide this for our relationship, as I do for them. It becomes difficult for me to put my trust in someone who tends to lose their cool when times get rough, because everyone experiences rough times. We learn more from failure then from success, so it is extremely important that lessons are learned in a time where you feel like you have no way out or you can’t “see” where to go next.
Life is hard. We are faced with many rough times, many tough situations, and we will have “failure” or adversity in some shape. But where I go from there is what is important to me. I will stay focused on what I want to accomplish no matter how many hurdles are placed in the way. The hurdles are my adversity and me sprinting over them is my life. The people (person) who are in my life will handle their life similarly, if not I wish them well on their journey.

Letter to myself October 8, 2012...

The letter is done!!!
So where will I be October 8, 2012. Hopefully I am alive and healthy at that time. But it will remain to be seen. I will hopefully continue to grow and learn lessons from my life. I WILL continue to travel and experience more things that this world has to offer.
Hopefully I will still have this blog then also so that I will be able to look back and see many of the things that I have experienced from my perspective at that time. I’ve been getting a lot better at writing here also. KEEP IT UP BUDDY 
Peace!!!

Reflections...

As we approach the end of another year, we as people have the habit of reflecting on what happen over the last 365 days. I, myself have experienced so many things, learned many lessons, made some mistakes, and thought about so many things. I am who I am. I am the mistakes that I have made. I am the lessons that I have learned. I am the experiences that I have had. I am so many things. I’m not going to say this year I am going to do this or that, as many people tend to do this time of year. But what I will say is I will continue to strive to learn more about myself and the people around me. I know that life is short and that I have to cherish and enjoy everyday. I will try my hardest to do that.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. Don’t be afraid to SHOW people that you love them.

Freddie

Stop being lazy Freddie!!!!!

It has been a few months since I have written in my blog. It has been a hectic couple of months and I have had many thoughts that have crossed my mind that I would have liked to blog about. Many of these thoughts are controversial and I have yet to decide whether or not I would like to blog about them. Other thoughts are updates and events of everyday experiences that I have had. I guess that I have really just been lazy and have not taken the time to write these thoughts down. I am going to make more of an effort to blog and share my thoughts with whoever would like to read them. I hope they make as much sense to you as they sometimes do to me.

On another note, I am getting back to reading. I am going to make more of an effort at that also. I feel like I need to take advantage of the information and opinions that I may learn from books and other writings. I have so many interests that I am hungry for information about and I need to feed that hunger. So reading is back to being a PRIORITY.

Last note, I would like to thank someone for making me a stronger person. I wouldn’t be the person today without experiencing the events that happen between us. Learning from our relationship has made me stronger, wiser, and I believe that I have an even greater understanding about what it takes to have GREAT relationships. I hope that one day you will also learn as I have. Thank you again.

Live, Love, Cherish, Respect, and most of all have fun EVERYDAY.

Understanding...

Its hard for me to understand how two people can get along so easily yet one person has a hard time being honest with the other. We would basically finish each others sentences. Have the same ideas. Want to do the same things. But still honesty was difficult for her. Was it real. I don't know what to believe anymore. Why should I believe anything that she has said to me. It is obvious that her first choice is to lie and maybe admit to it later. Why is she like that. I don't understand. I have shown her that I am a good man. Why is she afraid of committing herself to a relationship. I understand not wanting to be hurt. But why would you hurt someone else. That is being hypocritical. Why would she do the same things to me that I did to her in the past yet say that those things still hurt her. Why not think of that when she was deciding whether or not to lie to me. Why not think of that before she decided to deal with other men. How can she be what she supposedly despises so much. That doesn't add up. That doesn't make sense. I want to believe that at some point in time her feelings were genuine. But it is extremely hard to convince myself of that being true.

Fred

Time for a change????

Is what I've been doing lately not right? I have been asking myself this question quite frequently lately. I know that no one person is perfect nor is there a "perfect" way to live. But I can't help but ask myself is there something that I did that I shouldn't have or is there something that I should have done that I didn't do. Who knows. But I feel like I may need to try different things out to see if they work for me. So if you see me acting different, trying out different things, or just find yourself thinking "he usually doesn't do that", don't be surprised because it might be time for a change.

Its been too long...

Life, Life, Life…How, What, Where, Why, When, Who? How did I get here? What have I been doing? Where do I want to be? Why do I want to be there? When will I feel a sense of settlement? Who will I be with?

There are so many times in my life when I start asking myself these types of questions and sometimes I can’t answer them. I am not going too lie, it bothers me when I can’t answer them being the logical problem solver that I am. I feel like every question has an answer and I should be able to figure it out or find someone that can tell me. But I also realize that I am not meant to know everything. I think that so far in my life that has been one of the hardest things for to accept. It is extremely hard for me to accept that if even if I put my mind towards figuring out the answer that I may not find it. Why is this?

So many things happen in everyone’s lives. We interact with many people. We meet new people. We move on from bad relationships (including friendships). We grow. We stay the same. We learn. We love. We do so many things. But we always have to remember that this life thing is not guaranteed. Ask yourself questions. Push yourself. Don’t accept that you are not unique. There are over 6 billion different people on this earth. No two people are alike.

I try my hardest to be different. I try my hardest to take advantage of everyday. I try my hardest to show the people that I have in my life that I Love them and that they are special to me. I feel like that is part of my duty. I have to be that person in order for me not to feel like I am being the average person. I want to experience Love, sacrifice, commitment, respect, confidence, etc. All these actions and emotions that are so hard for people to accept and understand. I want that. I want to learn more about those actions and emotions. Sometimes I feel like that is what my life may be about. I know that I feel a sense of relaxation when I am around my friends and loved ones that share those feelings for me. I know that when I feel loved it causes me to want to love more. Don’t take love for granted. Cherish Love. Cherish life. Cherish today. All of these things are not guaranteed. I know that. That is why I live my life to the fullest. This is why I SHOW my love to my family and friends. This is why I SHOW my love when I find that special lady. I will never live my life any other way again.

Keep It Movin'

I find myself thinking a lot more than usual as I am winding down to my last days living in Virginia. I think about how I am going to miss this area and a lot of the things it offers. I will miss the friends that I have made because they have made a good influence on my life. But I guess it is time for me to take on another section of my life and focus on being a good role model for my little brothers and set a good example for them in Michigan. It will be an adjustment for me but I know that I will be able to handle it. I was hoping that I would have the comfort of a special person by my side to aide in the adjustment of being back in Michigan, but that situation is a little rocky right now.
I have been through many tough times before in my life; therefore I know that I have the mental strength to endure more. But sometimes I wonder why things aren’t always what they seem and why things can’t just be a little easier. But I know that anything worth having in life has a price, and by that I don’t mean just money. I mean time, effort, sacrifice, determination, etc. I hadn’t understood that in the past as much as I do now, and I know that my understanding of that causes me to maneuver more strategically in my life.
I will continue to do me. I will continue to make strides to become a better person and have a better understanding about life. I will continue to try, key word try, to understand people and why they do the things that they do. Hopefully I am given many more years on this Earth in order to experience and learn new things in my life. I will take advantage of every day that I am given and I know that I will continue to grow.

On another note I saw this on a friends page and wanted to copy (hope you don't mind):
...you arent limited by your past, you're limited by the amount of weight you refuse to release from your past...Deep